How to Overcome Your Social Anxiety to lead a positive life


This is a very interesting study conducted in 2000 by Professor Thomas Gilovich at Cornell University. He takes a group of students, randomly chooses one person from each group, and invites other students to appear in a certain room at a certain time and space to work on bids for a project.

It’s important to note that all chairs in this room are arranged with each facing the door. After that, he deliberately stopped the prisoners and told them to wear T-shirts. A famous man like Martin Luther King or Bob Marley. Then he asked this person to enter the room, knowing that he would be late, and knowing that all the other students would look out the door and see who would come to this experiment. that there were only those who were late and came to the belief that everyone paid attention to the fact that everyone looked up when they entered the room after the experiment, the researchers asked embarrassed people, how many students. In their opinions were clear and eager to be reminded of the incident but these people report that 50% of all other participants will be able to wear the event and the shirt also confuses them and is really sure to remember most of the people in the room. pay attention. In fact, the researchers found that only 10% of students in the room could remember events and T-shirts as a highlight effect that we often overestimate how many negative and positive actions are in our hearts. We thought the spotlight was on us, that everyone saw us and judged us, even though it was bigger. Some people don’t care about it and this is a very important concept that you must internalize when dealing with social problems. Fear of fighting. See the main reason why we worry about others because we feel they are watching and evaluating us. So Here we are going to see how to overcome our social anxiety to lead a positive life.

Challenge your fear of negative thinking and anxiety

Sometimes it can feel like you can’t do anything about your feelings and how you think. In fact, there are a number of things that can help. Questioning your mentality and negative thoughts can be an effective way to eliminate the symptoms of social anxiety. Start by identifying anxious thoughts that automatically come to mind when you think about social situations. Next, analyse those thoughts and challenge them. The question is, why do you think so and if your first reaction is actually how you feel or only accept the worst. Changing the way you think is a long journey and not a direct solution, but the mind is a powerful thing and it’s possible.

Thinking styles that increase social anxiety and don’t help you at all include reading minds and predicting the future. Suppose you know what someone is thinking, and that is the same negative way you see yourself as a prognostic of the future. They just “know” that everything will go wrong and it will be “terrible”. Thinking so devastating and challenging, it’s not easy, but it is very important to overcome the symptoms of social anxiety.

Be attentive 

Being attentive and practicing mental meditation helps you to be present and realize what you think and feel in an unnecessary and positive way. In a study published in the journal Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience, researchers found that meditation affects activity in certain brain areas. Participants with normal anxiety participated in four 20-minute meditation exercises. They found a decrease in anxiety levels of up to 39% after awareness training.

Other studies have found supporting evidence that mindfulness and healing meditation can not only help reduce social anxiety but also depression. Studies at the University of Amsterdam have shown that mindfulness training can be a cost effective, affordable and effective way to treat social anxiety disorder. During training, patients learn to gain more control over their attention and ability to be present through meditation techniques.

Go to the cafe

If you enjoy watching movies online or watching your favourite TV programs, show social care and take your tablet or laptop to the nearest cafe. Perform activities that you enjoy and feel comfortable in an environment that usually bothers you. You have the habit and comfort of only focusing on what you are doing, but that will exceed your limits. This is not just a cafe; it can also work in parks or restaurants. Hopefully you can stretch but stay in your mental well-being zone at the same time.

Create a hierarchical social fear of exposure

Identify and evaluate where your social situation is anxious. For example, 0 means there is no fear and 10 will be a total panic attack. Make a list and write down how you feel in any situation, no matter how small or large. From the meeting room to the inspection of strangers in the weather tube. It is important that you write your predictions on a piece of paper so that you know how you will feel.

Most of the time, thinking about doing something is scarier than actually doing it, and we usually make it a little better. Test your predictions and note your social situation, predictions, and how you really feel. You might notice that conversations with your colleagues are 4 instead of 9. All of this helps track and reduce social anxiety.

Take a long breath

If your body is afraid, many changes can occur. Physical symptoms of anxiety include increased heart rate, palpitations, dizziness and muscle tension. When you learn to take a moment and slow down your breath, you can regain control of your body. There are various breathing techniques that can help relax and calm the body. Just sit, make yourself comfortable and breathe almost all day for four seconds. Then exhale slowly and release as much air as possible. Take another deep breath, fill your stomach with air and continue until you feel your breath slowly gain its normal speed.

Handle with confidence

There are a large number of adults who suffer from social phobia and crippling shame. You can learn to be safe because you have learned to ride a bicycle. Act more confident and people will react positively. That doesn’t mean that you have to be a noble clown or have to be the focus of attention. This is just about stamina. Something that feels scary at first gets better every time. It does not happen overnight and must be treated with social confidence as you do with other abilities. If you continue to avoid social interactions, you will continue to be afraid. By eliminating avoidance, you overcome your social anxiety and fears.

Discover social situations and deal with social anxiety

Make a conscious effort to be more social. Look for active supportive social media that can help you overcome your fears. You can start with social skills training. Here you can practice your social interactions correctly, before you enter the real world. This will give you some tips about what to say and do when you are in a social situation that you don’t know or worry about.

Try to volunteer for something that allows you to focus on an activity that is fun and at the same time exceeds your limits. This can be anything from sending a dog to a shelter or helping out at a food bank to feed the homeless. In addition, you will interact with people who have the same interests, so you know at least one thing that you are talking about and that you can share. Work on your communication skills and build relationships slowly.

Be nice to you

Nothing is perfect and everyone feels uncomfortable at one point or another in their lives. Overcoming social anxiety is not easy at all. There will be times when you think negatively and go back to old habits. If you feel tired or tired, you may feel more anxious than usual, but that doesn’t mean you have failed. Take a moment, focus on the present and practice the techniques you are working on. If your social anxiety sometimes returns, please be kind and patient with yourself. Confidence is the key to your path to freedom. Don’t give up if you have a bad day and feel bad.


We hope you will feel confident in the conversation when overcoming social anxiety and shame. Talking with someone can be very challenging and knowing what to say is not easy. Sometimes it can feel very uneasy, as if it takes a lifetime. When you talk to other people, you become less and less anxious every time. There are several conversation techniques that you can use to get started.

Ask others to do most of the work by asking open-ended questions, questions that require more than one yes or no answer. Also ask open personal questions to take the conversation to a deeper level. This will help you get to know the person better. If you feel safer, share personal information about yourself. This invites others to ask questions about them and even to share things privately.

Control your fears

The final step is dealing with your fears. It is impossible to overcome social anxiety unless you are confronted with a situation that makes you anxious. Avoiding it as a coping tool does not help you and does not increase your personal growth. Numerous studies have shown that exposure therapy is effective in remembering your anxiety in treating anxiety disorders. These include social anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder or even obsessive-compulsive disorder. However, research shows that exposure must be used with caution. Therefore, taking part in social interactions or activities that only slightly trigger your anxiety and open the way to the top.

You must learn to deal with your anxiety that comes from a very anxious social situation. We are social creatures. Leaving your comfort zone is a must to increase the chances of a successful experience. Every situation you encounter and overcome will increase your confidence.

Overcoming social anxiety has long occurred, and it takes time for new neural channels to form social interactions. Does it keep you from social anxiety in your daily life? Then don’t hesitate to seek professional help in a form where you feel comfortable. This is a great way to deal with your social anxiety. Even though it seems like an impossible obstacle, it is better to overcome it to enjoy your life to the fullest.

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Nanthakumar R

Nanthakumar R, a zeal freelancer who is passionate about Mechanical Design, Drafting, Blogging, Belles lettres and epistle hunting.
"live and let live".

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